My circle tends to view me as the embodiment of Maiden energy.  Even now, as I inch perilously close to 30, I am being asked to portray the Maiden in our Beltane ritual.  And why not??  I am young and single and powerful and (thankfully) no one's Mommy.  As the only priestess within my coven with those attributes, it would seem I am the natural choice, yes?  It is not only my coven but also many of my friends, family, and acquaintances who seemingly view me as the eternal, if not often petulant, child.  This idea would sometimes lead me to the brink of resentment.  It wasn't until this year that I truly came to understand why and how I am viewed as I am, that I will likely always be viewed as such, and that it is not such a bad thing.

You see, my birthday falls on the 3rd of May.  Yep, I'm a Beltane Baby.  Born right at the height of Maiden power.  The Goddess is young, but no child.  She revels in youth and beauty and the new love budding between her and The God.  But there is so much more to her than that.  It is not the mere fertility of the earth and of her own body as she prepares to bear Sun God born at Yule.  Basically, what I am saying is that the Goddess is not some horny teenager.

When I was a child, I always felt a million years older.  As I grew, however, my perception of my own age has never changed.  I often wondered why it was that I never felt like I was growing up; why, when I felt older than my years in the beginning, I did not seem to grow into more of an “adult” as time has gone by.  If I am to be perfectly honest, yes, I absolutely do enjoy acts of intimacy (as you would imagine any sentient being would), but like the Maiden, I am no horny teenager.  While we can joke about being libido-driven—and sometimes feel/act as if we are—there is more to the story.  Yes, I am a bit of a frisky Beltane Baby, but I can take or leave copulation for the sake of copulation.  Really good copulation, on the other hand, I can’t get enough of—much like the God and Goddess when they met, wooed, and became completely enraptured with each other.  That’s the good stuff. It’s something that all people deserve and we shouldn’t settle until they attain it. 

More than physical fertility, and the fertility of budding love, I have always been driven by spiritual, emotional, and intellectual fertility.  I have always had a burning desire to learn and do and see more.  I can’t imagine a time in my life where I will be content to stop learning, to stop growing.  This, I think, more than anything, is that connection to the Maiden that people sense.  I can’t change this any more than I can change when I was born.  It is engrained.  It is something that will present itself throughout this lifetime.

Being so closely linked to this aspect of the Goddess, this particular phase in the Maiden Goddess’s evolution, I will most likely always exhibit a bit of a Peter Pan persona.  Even when I am Mother or Crone, there will be a bit of the Maiden lurking just below the surface.  This could be difficult to overcome at times and lead people to continue to view me as a bit of a child.  I gladly accept this challenge, though, because the hunger and idealism of the Maiden is precious, and something I would never want to be without. 

Pánta eteléutêsan.

*~Delphy~*